Kieron Smith, Boy Read online

  My grannie telled me.

  I did not care if she liked Matt the best. Or who else, everybody. But no my granda. I did not think it. He said to me I was his pal and he showed me all stuff to do with everything. Maybe he liked the two of us the best. But maybe he did not, maybe it was just me. If grannie never knew. Maybe he did not tell her, so she did not know. He had a secret wave and showed me it, it was a wee circle ye did with yer hand and when I went home we done it when I was going down the stairs.

  The one that did not like me was Matt. Sometimes he did but no to take me places. He went with his pals. They all were big boys. They did not like bringing their wee brothers. But if they had to bring ye. Matt had to take me. My maw said it to him. But he still did not, even if I telled him.

  But mum said it, you have got to take me.

  Oh tough luck. That was what he said to me. I telled her but she did not hit him.

  ***

  He had books and would not give me them and my grannie would say it. Oh let the boy see the books.

  But he did not want to. Oh he will tear them.

  I will not tear them.

  He was always reading them and I could not. But if he was not there I saw them, if he was at school and I was not. They were libray books. He got them from the libray. It was near our street beside the park. He went most days and would not take me. I was too young. He got all books there and was reading them and I wanted to. He just shoved me. No, no, away ye go.

  Then I was old enough to go and my grannie said it. Oh take him to the libray.

  So he took me. I was waiting for him. He came home from school and we went.

  We waited at the foot of the stairs with other boys and lasses. It was the Junior Libray. The gate was shut. The woman was coming to let us in. It had to be at the time. Four o'clock. All boys and lasses were there. So then she came and opened the gate and we went up the stairs into the Junior Libray. It was just all books. And good smells were there, and wee seats ye could just sit down on. And tables if ye could put yer books on them, ye were just to do it. A lassie went away and did that and she got books and put them on the table and just sat down. Matt was away over too and he was seeing all the books and took one down and was just looking at it.

  I was going to get some but the woman said, Oh you have to stay there. Just take the form for your date of birth. You cannot get any books, you will get them when you bring the form back. Your mum or dad can do it.

  So it was the next day. My granda did the form. Matt was coming home from school to take me but what if he would not? I just went. But I could not get in. The gate was shut at the foot of the stairs. So if ye were going to skip in, ye could not. A woman saw me. Oh the Junior Libray is not open. Look, it is only two o'clock. Go home and come back.

  Oh missis can I just wait?

  Well it will be a long wait.

  She showed me a chair beside the window and I could sit there.

  There was more tables and chairs and grown-ups were sitting on them and reading their books. I could see out the window. It was snowing, and real snow for snowballs. People would be flinging them at ye. Big boys after school. Ye could play at stuff out the backcourt. If people were there to play. Snow was good for chases and making good slides. Slides were great. The big boys made them and ye just had to watch if they gave ye a shot because if ye fell and banged yer head, it was just crack and then ohh ohhh.

  Stop kicking the table.

  It was a man said it to me. He was an old man like granda. Here, he said and gived me a sweetie. A woman came and I got books to read. She gived me another sweetie. I read the books. It was hot, a radiator was there and what happened, I went to sleep and woke up and people were going up the stairs, boys and lasses. I ran over. A woman was at the desk and saw my form. It was the same woman. Oh that is good Kieron here is your ticket.

  She waved round all the books and I was to take ones. I got a big pile. I was not to take them all but I was to get two. I got big ones, they were heavy. I opened my jerkin and put them into my body so the snow would not get them. It was thick falling and people had snow over their heads and shoulders.

  I went to my grannie's. My maw was not home till after. My grannie's house was up the next street to us, just across the back. Ye could see it from our kitchen window. When I got there my big brother was sitting on the stool at the fire reading a book. I liked that stool. I wished he was not there.

  My grannie made me a piece on jam and I showed her my books. Where is granda?

  Oh he is just lying down, he will see yer books after.

  I did not want Mattie to see them. He did not look. Sshh. He said that if he was reading. Sshh you. I showed them to him and he would not look. If you are going to read read. That was what he said. If ye wanted the books ye have got the books.

  He always read his books, he just sat on the stool and he read them and if ye were playing or ye were doing something, he did not hear ye and if it was grannie saying, Oh Mattie away down the shops a message. Oh Mattie we need potatoes or if it is milk and a loaf.

  He did not hear her. She was doing clothes at the sink. But I would go for my grannie. And I said I would and I went to get my shoes and coat but then my big brother was quick off the stool and getting the money and got his shoes on quick and was down the lobby and out the door, banging it shut, so I did not have time to go with him. And my grannie just looking, Oh he will wake yer granda.

  Because the noise, granda was sleeping.

  ***

  My big brother was taking me on a long walk with his pals. He said I was to go out the back close to see somebody and just wait and he would come in a wee minute to get me. Nobody was out the back. I looked. I was waiting and he never came. When I went out the front that was him away, he just went away. If I could find him. I ran up and down the street but could not. He was away without me and they went to a tunnel under the river. There was all things that they did and just everything and it was all dark and creepy and ye just heard owls hooting and there were ghosts.

  He said he would take me the next time but he did not. It was not fair. I was not too wee. If he was going I could go with him. I said it to my grannie how he just ran away and I could not run after them. Oh take the wee boy son. That was what she said to him.

  Oh but grannie wee boys cannot keep up with us.

  I said, I will so keep up with ye.

  No ye will not.

  I will.

  No ye will not.

  Oh let the boy go with ye.

  Oh grannie I cannot, if the other boys are there, they do not want wee boys to come, they just make us slow.

  Oh.

  So he would not do it. Not for my grannie. But if my granda said it then he would. He only did things if my granda said it. I was wanting my granda to say it but he did not, only to me. Oh son you should play with the wee boys, that is the best thing.

  But the wee boys did not play good games and did not go any places, they just stayed in the street. Matt and the big boys went all long walks. It was their travels. Mattie said that, Oh we are going our travels.

  So I hid up the close and waited so he did not know and then went after him and he was going to his pals, so then I came out. He was angry. Away home you!

  No!

  Away ye go!

  No!

  You better if I tell ye.

  No, I am not doing it for you.

  Blasted pest.

  He came to get me and I ran away But I just came back again and was hiding in a close. I looked out to see them, oh and they were going. I waited a wee minute more then came out. They could not see me. I was keeping into the wall and if they were going to see me I dodged into closes and was hiding.

  I came behind them a long way. But a big boy saw me and telled Mattie and he caught me and punched me. But it was too faraway He could not take me home, so he had to take me. Oh you, you are just a blasted pest. You are a wee stinking rotter.

  So I just went. They were going on the ferry
and I went on it too but stayed at the back. I would have liked it better if another wee boy went but they did not. When we got off I followed where they were going and if they were walking fast. Oh Mattie wait for me!

  Oh listen you it is Matt, not Mattie. Never you call me Mattie.

  If I walked beside them he was going to kill me. If he was talking with his pals and he saw me and I was listening. Oh you wee spy. Stop spying.

  I was not spying. If he did not see me I was there and he was talking about stuff. I heard him. It was not my fault. If he was saying bad words. Maybe he was. My da would have battered him, because if I telled my maw she would tell him, that was one thing.

  ***

  My da was away at sea and I did not see him much except if he was home on leave and ye had to say Grace at night for yer tea, For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful. I went to my grannie's. I would have stayed but when it came nighttime I had to go back. Make yerself scarce son. That was what my grannie said, You will have to go home now.

  But if I went into a corner and just sat still. There was a space between the cupboard and the wall near the side of the fire and I could go in there and sit down on the floor and the light was dark, they did not see me. My granda said, Oh Vera the boy is playing possum.

  My grannie looked where I was, and I was just I do not know just sitting or if my eyes were sleepy or what till then my brother came to get me.

  My granda was teaching me tricks. He had cards and showed me how to shuffle them and keep ones to the front or else to the back. My brother sat down beside us. My granda brought him into it and showed him as well. Then my brother said I was to go home because maw wanted me to go a message. He gived me a real angry look and with his fist just what he would do to me if I did not go, when we got home, he was going to mollicate me. I hated him. He said things and then I got angry and he just laughed, and he did it when people were there. And he punched me if nobody was looking. That was him. I did not like him or else what he said, I did not care, if he was telling me to go home, I was not bothering with what he said. I was not going home for him, he was not the boss. Till then my grannie says, Ye better go home son.

  So then I did but if she said to Matt, You take him son. That was not good because outside the house he would just bash me.

  My granda showed me good tricks for fighting. Ye had to be quick, quick quick quick. Because if ye were not ye would just get hit. And if ye went down that was you, they kicked ye with their boots. So ye moved quick, the very quickest. And if they got ye in the belly like a bad punch in the guts, and ye were sick, ye went down with it, making ye bend over getting yer breath. So that would stop ye, ye had to avoid a punch in the guts. Granda said that.

  He done the windmill on me, where his hands and arms went round and round and ye were to try and get him. Hit inside, Hit inside.

  Punching in at him. But ye could not. My granda laughing, his face going all red, stepping about. Then my grannie shouted at him. Stop! Lawrie stop!

  Then him breathing, having to breathe. Oh hooh hooh, hooh hooh, ahooh ahooh, that was the sound.

  Lawrie was granda's name, coming from Lawrence, Lawrence McGuigan. My maw's name was Catherine McGuigan before she married my dad. I thought that was a funny name, Smith, and if ye had been called Lawrence as well. So with my name Kieron, my granda's one made it a wee bit better. He did not know any other Lawrence. His maw just called him it.

  My grannie shouted at him if he was showing me fighting stuff because he got all puffed out, and sitting on the chair, he could not talk, getting his breath back and just quiet in his throat. Oh Vera I am knackered.

  And ye would listen to him with his breathing, hoooh hoooh, ahoooh ahoooh. Then he would give me another wee punch. See that son, ye have to watch for the sneaky ones.

  He went to a boxing club when he was young. His pal fought for Scotland and was a champion. Granda showed me how to spar. We sparred a lot, if grannie was out at the shops, or else if he sat down, I just done it. It was jab jab jab and use yer elbow, use yer elbow, tuck it in now tuck it in, get that elbow tucked in and move yer shoulder move yer shoulder, and do not slap do not slap, move yer shoulder move yer shoulder bump bump, bump bump, that is the game son.

  My Uncle Billy said, Listen to yer granda Kierie boy, but see for a real fight ye have to go right ahead with them. Ye just rush in and clatter them and do not stop till they hit the deck.

  That was what Uncle Billy said, and once ye got them down, ye did not let them back up, ye just carried on till they could not hit ye back. Ye had to stop them, else they would stop you. Even if they were decked, ye still had to fight them. So that was booting yer man when he was down. That was dirty fighting. Uncle Billy gived me a wink. But I did not like dirty fighting. If somebody was a dirty fighter, they did that, they kicked people when they were down. They were bullies. A lot of bullies were dirty fighters and there were boys like that.

  My granda called Uncle Billy a mug. He used to say that about people, He is a mug.

  Uncle Billy winked at me. When granda was not there he telled me if ye were fighting ye just lifted a brick and ye battered the man with it, that was how ye done it, especially a wee boy like me because if they were bigger, so ye just had to do it.

  ***

  Swimming was the best. My grannie thought it too. She took me and Mattie. She liked going but no all the time. She was a past champion and a best swimmer and was in a Ladies' Club. She was showing me how to swim and when my maw was wee she showed her. My granda made a joke. Oh but yer grannie is a true champion, yer maw only goes to get a bath son she does not like her hair getting wet.

  My maw only went on Saturdays. My da came if he was home on leave. Oh I have seen enough water, and now I have to swim in it.

  That was to me and Matt because we were wanting him to come. And he laughed at my grannie, Oh she looks like a swan.

  We were laughing too but it was cheeky. I did not like it. He said stuff about grannie.

  My granda never came to the swimming. I wanted him to come. But he did not. Oh maybe the next time son. Yer brother will take ye.

  He gived Mattie the money for us to go. I still could not swim and kept to the shallow end. A rail went round the pond and I held on to it. My elbow was wedged in and got jammed. I had to twist it to get out but it would not come. A big boy came to help but could not get it so the man had to come and get me out.

  Sometimes yer feet went under the rail and balanced right, so ye floated good. My big brother did that. He let go with his hands so he went right back in the water just with his head and shoulders up. He put his hands behind his head, so if he was lying down. Oh I am going to have a wee sleep.

  I tried it but my feet came out from the rail and I went under the water and back over and the water went all in my mouth and up my nose, choking and swallowing, I could not find the bottom and was nearly drowning. Lucky for me I never.

  My big brother could swim good. My granda said he was to show me. I telled him that but he just said, Oh grannie is showing ye.

  Oh but you have to show me as well.

  No I do not.

  But if granda said.

  Well I do not care if granda said.

  You have to show me.

  My brother just swam away I saw him. I held onto the rail and he swam back and said to leave go and he would show me. I would not.

  Because if he just ducked me under. Boys done that. If ye were there at the shallow end and they came by, they got yer head and ducked ye and ye could not get out and were drowning. They were just laughing. Matt said he would not do it to me. But then he was laughing and splashing at me and pulling off my hands. He swam underwater so ye never saw him. He just came up at ye or else stayed under and grabbed yer legs or else got up and round yer shoulders, gripping ye over the top and with all his might, so pushing ye off he was just pushing ye off, and ye would go right down and the water was coming closer so ye were kicking him and if he was laughing, then h
e was angry and just punched ye, trying to loose off my hands again, gripping tight on my wrists and it was sore, squashing them down and pulling them but I would not let go it was just like I could not I could not and I was shouting.

  So if I did not stop he really would batter me. Once we got home he was going to. That was what he said. He pulled up my fingers one by one by one. I was kicking him to stop so he would not. He grabbed my trunks to pull them down so I had to leave go one hand to hold them so he was grabbing my other one, gripping the wrist, so he got it loose and I could not stop him so that was me and I went down and down and if ye could not reach the bottom. Not if it was the deep end. And ye rolled to the side and if ye hit the wall oh ye were lucky if ye could touch it so then ye went back up and ye were at the rail and could just grab it, spitting out all the water. It was all down inside ye and nearly if ye were going to be sick, coughing it all out and just spluttering it out yer nose.

  Oh you are all snotters! Matt laughing at me. I did not want him and turned away my head. But he swam round. I turned my head the other way, so then he held my chin. You are not greeting?

  Not for you anyway.

  I swam down with ye.

  No ye did not.

  I did so. Ye would see me if ye looked. Daft wee pest, just open yer eyes.

  If I opened my eyes I would see him, he said that. He was there when I went down and was watching me so I would not drown. If I opened my eyes I would see him.

  Oh come on and try again.

  But I was no going to so he just swam away. I hung onto the rail. When I wanted to move I walked up the wall so my feet were just down from it and my b*m was sticking out and I could just kick and bounce round the side doing it. People were coming the other way, if they could not swim. They passed their hands round ye or you passed yours round them and they had to stay still a wee minute so ye did not miss the railing cause if ye did ye went under the water and spluttering, ye were choking, and it was hard to find the rail again.